Rantings of a Phobic

For all the A-Listers with phobias out there, I feel your pain. It is not often that people understand why certain things frighten us, make our hearts race (not in the good way) and cause our anxiety to take over. Everyone has some sort of phobia. Ranging from the common arachnophobia (fear of spiders) and acrophobia (fear of heights) to the wacky anglophobia (fear of England) and auroaphobia (fear of northern lights), my fear is still not recognized. No phobia list has deemed my fear an acceptable phobia, but trust me, it is very real. My name is Alanna and I have a fear of raccoons.

Spare me the cuteness factor because cute and those things should never be used in the same sentence. These (sometimes) rabid creatures like to creep around my house at night and break up the fun. They pound on my doors, break open my garbage and dig up the garden. The torture only continues when they decide to stray from their nocturnal habits and disrupt my tanning and swimming time in the summer. I've gone the humane route, but those living traps never seem to do the trick. Those creatures come back again and again, keen on keeping my panic and anxiety at an atomic level.

But tonight was the last straw. During the previews for Alice in Wonderland, the trailer for Brooke Shield's new movie Furry Vengeance was played. With my 3D glasses on, I was exposed to giant raccoons. Not one, not even two, but a whole army of them. Seriously, my worst nightmare come true. Brooke Shields, why did you sink so low? Why would anyone in their right mind want to go to a movie about raccoons taking over the world? I should not have to worry about entering a theatre only to be subjected to these fearsome animals portrayed at a superimposed size on the big screen. I dread the time when the posters for this movie line the halls of my local Cineplex theaters. But really, I can't avoid them outside and now I won't be able to avoid them inside?

I don't know how many people out there share my fear, but I'm sure anyone with a phobia can understand my distaste. We should not be subjected to our fears on the big screen. Given that a name for my phobia does not exist, I think this rant warrants me to create one.

My name is Alanna and I am a racophobic.

Update: Katie Holmes is a racophobic too!