Apr 28, 2013

Kate Speaks. The World Listens.

The Duchess of Cambridge speaks! Kate Middleton's first broadcast message in support of Together for Short Lives charity hit the airwaves in the UK - and YouTube globally. I'm all for the message, and for Kate's public voice, but I must say her hair and clothing weren't up to par. The collared dress is a bit too schoolgirl while her infamous hair is fairly limp. A miss for Kate? I'm in shock too. 

Royal Magic

I really need some clarification over whether Prince William, Kate Middleton and Prince Harry would be considered muggles. I somehow doubt the royal trio got any clarification on this while visiting the new Making of Harry Potter studio tour. Sure, they received all the attention, but can they make some levitate and fight off mystical creatures? Doubtful.  

Just look at Kate here. It's like she's trying so hard to channel her magical powers with this faux-Harry Potter wand.  Too bad the royal baby couldn't lend a helping hand here. 

Apr 23, 2013

Girls Dance Parties

No party is more fun than a Hannah Horvath dance party.

No, really. I want an invite. 

Getting Old - And Girls

Sometimes I forget I'm not in my early 20s anymore. I still like to think I have the energy of a teenager (nope!), can drink others under the table (also, nope!) and can lose 5 lbs without putting in too much effort (definitely, nope!). Truth is, 26 kinda sucks. It's that not-so-magical age that reminds you that your youth is behind you.

This is probably why I like watching Girls so much. For all of the reasons I think 26 kind of blows, Hannah, Marni, Jessa and Shoshanna remind me that my life is actually pretty great. I haven't injured my eardrums with Q-tips, I haven't slept with short and crazy artists, I haven't accidentally done crack and I don't travel the world to avoid my problems. I'm feeling pretty good right about now.

And then - I remember this article. Sure, it reminds me that my early 20s are behind me, but it's so on-point it's comical. Even if you're young, read this and prepare for the inevitable. But, remember, it's not all bad!

Oy. Oy. Oy.

Jimmy Kimmel reminded the world why most hipsters are really just posers. In his latest edition of Lie Witness News, Jimmy's crew exposes some (unlucky) Coachella-goers for what they really are - desperate to impress. No - Regis and the Philbins is not a band. The Obesity Epidemic is real, only it doesn't sing - it just makes people fat. And Get the Fuck Out of My Pool? I mean, come on! 

(Wannabe) Hipsters: 0. Jimmy (and the rest of the world): 1. 

All Hail the Queen

For those of you who don't subscribe to the E! newsletter, you might have missed the announcement that Kris Jenner in the Queen of Fucking Everything.

You heard me. The Queen of Fucking Everything. You may be wondering what this means, exactly. Does the Queen of Fucking Everything overrule the other queens? Does the Queen of Fucking Everything hold any legal power? Does the Queen of Fucking Everything control the media? The answer to all of these questions is simply - yes

Kris Jenner is truly the Queen of Fucking Everything. She rules over any country with access to cable television and an internet connection. She is able to sway judges and lawyers until things go her away - on-camera and off. She controls the messages (including sex tapes and scandals) covered by the media. 

All hail Queen Kris!


Kim Kardashian says she's no longer worried about pushing her child out of her birth canal.

The reality starlet has gotten over her extremely rational fear of birthing a human being. Of feeling it grow in her ever-expanding body. Of it causing tabloids to liken her to Shamu the killer whale. Of it causing strife with baby daddy Kanye West. Yes, people, Kim is ready for this baby to get the hell out of there.

Honestly, who can blame her? It's not like Kim hasn't been through enough in the past year and a half. From marrying Kris Humphries to (finally) divorcing Kris Humphries, dating Kanye and getting pregnant, filming and watching this season's Kortney and Kim Take Miami, promoting Kardashian Kollection and obsessively posting selfies on Instagram and Twitter - Kim is clearly in need of a break.

From what I've heard, being a mom is actually far from getting a break. But, look on the bright side - not being pregnant must bring Kim the same sense of relief as getting divorced. Just saying. Maybe. We'll see.

Apr 22, 2013

The Ultimate Love Letter

Not only did Jessica Biel get to marry one of America's most eligible bachelors, but she also got herself a very public love letter. 

While Justin Timberlake's album is officially known as the 20/20 Experience, I like to refer to it as the world's greatest love letter. Have you tried listening to these lyrics? It's like Justin finally finished crying a river and saw what was in front of him - then married it. Sure, they had a tumultuous on/off relationship, but Jessica Biel can finally rest easy knowing Justin is this into her. 

Don't believe me? Listen for yourselves.  

Do You Know My Name?

There's no need to pity Reese Witherspoon. Following her arrest on Friday for disorderly conduct, the actress remains high on America's sweetheart list. This is but the second time she's avoided tarnishing her image. That's right, people - Reese Witherspoon had a baby pre-getting hitched to Ryan Phillippe.

I've taken quite the blogging hiatus as of late, but what better reason to reinvigorate The A List than to lament on Reese Witherspoon's uncanny ability to retain her good girl image despite two big blunders. How is it that pop culture lets Reese slide while shunning other celebrities who can't seem to (pardon my French) get their shit together?

It's easy. Even while being arrested for disorderly conduct (and muttering the dreadful, "Do you know who I am?!" to a police officer), Reese is seen as the good girl protecting her husband. Jim Toth (or Mr. Reese Witherspoon, as he is sometimes known) was pulled over for driving under the influence. While being questioned by authorities, Reese pulled out all the stops to prevent her husband from being booked. This tactic clearly failed - and got Reese arrested in the process.

Look at that mugshot. Eyes closed, angelic smile - it's almost hard to believe a police officer would have the audacity to claim Reese was acting disorderly. Oh, and that baby out of wedlock issue from 1999? I'm pretty sure everyone's forgotten about that. With a wedding, new baby photo shoot and a slew of popular acting gigs, it's easy to forget about the pre-marriage baby and remember the good, angelic times.

Lindsay Lohan, Jamie-Lynn Spears and the 16 and Pregnant girls clearly have a lot to learn.

The A List Hits